Setting park: Burgess Park
Brutus & Cassius
Octavius & Anthony
octavius: I wouldn’t go into your path but this time I will
brutus: we should talk before we have our battle,our last talk together before one of us dies
Anthony:the last thing I want Is to die on my enemies sword, the clouds are about to collide and make a storm
Cassius: Brutus, this battle will include us putting our life on the line, and I am prepared to put my life on the line, are you?
Brutus: Yes Cassius I am prepared to put my life on the line, as long as your willing to do the same I will as well
Octavious: Stop muttering under your breath and fight us
Anthony:their too scared to fight us, they need a plan to beat us
Octavious: Indeed they do, we are not holding back, are we Anthony?
Anthony: No we’re not
Brutus: So much for our last talk
Cassuis: “Screams out loud”Let’s GO!
“They all shout and run towards each other”
June 30, 2015 at 8:36 am
Hello John,
This is an excellent first draft – I’m really pleased.
Your characters are clear, but I think increasing the use of stage directions will help to give us a sense of which characters are on each side. Look at the script to see how Shakespeare has done this.
Targets:
1) Always re-read and edit sentence length/structure – where would those full stops go? Why?
2) Remember to include re-write some of Shakespeare’s imagery. Look at the sheet I gave you to help with this.